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The Bland Song
The Bland Song 'was a song that debuted in episode 68(Series 8, episode 5) of Spitting Image in its original run. The song itself is a satire of the various arising trends of the turn of the decade (some from the end of the 80s). Satire in the song The song starts by recalling the by-gone fads and events of previous decades with a faceless puppet in a sweater. The faceless character makes multiple appearances throughout the song to appear as the true identity (or lack there-of) of a number of people. As the song goes on, different groups are mocked for how boring they are. Television show hosts, soap opera stars, and politicians are ridiculed with their dry portrayals.. The third verse of the song focuses on the politicians such as Paddy Ashdown who was leader of the LDP (Liberal Democratic party). He was often satirized on the show for being centrist and never picking a side (hence how he has no face when he looks in the mirror during the song). John Major declares that there is no one who can be blander than he is. Not even his own cabinet. Visual Gags * A police officer beats a hippy while the lyrics say ''"People hand and hand" * Mike Smith says he can't remember his name despite a cue card being right in front of him. * Matt and Luke Goss wear their logo backwards before realizing their mistake * Geoffrey Howe is seen once again dozing off before joining in with the rest of the cabinet * Various things are replaced with a '''bland pun. Such as Bland Date (Blind Date) and Nuffcafe Gold Bland (Nescafe Gold Blend) Lyrics Faceless The Sixties stood for peace and love And People hand and hand Seventies for three day weeks And the Gary Glitter Band Then came the age of doing lunch And earning fifty grand Now the times are changing It’s the fashion to be bland ' ' Smith Long ago I set the trend I still forget my name Nearly killing Sarah Greene My only claim to fame ' ' Minogue and Jason Donovan We’re so nice we make a proper Aussie puke with shame ' ' and Luke Goss And now the songs are just like us Identical and lame ' ' Chorus Bob Holness and Belgians Mark Knopfler’s new band (Unknown) Is the weatherman Stock Aitken Waterman This is the age Of the bland ' ' Ashdown My Name is Paddy Ashdown I lead the LDP And now I’m just like my party I’ve got no identity''' ' Cabinet We’re boring and we’re faceless As bland as bland can be Major But according to my figures You’re not as bland as me Couple In the adverts on the telly When we want to have a fling We just drink cups of coffee And never do a thing Black Oh me show’s a load of drivel But at least I never sing Contestants I’m Phil, I’m Dez, I’m Kilroy Silk And I’m a ball of string Chorus Phil Collins and pizzas George Bush and cream in a can Any old new town Matt Lowe from Countdown Now is the time to be bland Bland Blanding And Blandly Bland is Blander than Bland Blandification Blanderdization Blandy to Bland Bland Blanding And Blandly Bland is Blander than Bland Blandification Blanderdization Blandy to Bland Ditty Bland Blanding And Blandly Bland is Blander than Bland Blandification Blanderdization Blandy to Bland Ditty Bland Blanding And Blandly Bland is Blander than Bland Blandification Blanderdization Blandy to Bland Ditty Bland We’re Bland We’re Bland So Bland We’re Bland Video Trivia * The faceless puppet was used prior in the song ''I've Been Very Lucky ** Both songs at one point or another satirize the relatively blandness of SAW records and Kylie Minogue's acting * One of chorus puppets appears to have trouble moving and articulating when viewed up close. Category:Songs